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How Do I Learn to Love Myself?

Updated: Mar 9, 2021

Demonstrate love to others seems to come naturally for the most, but what about showing love toward ourselves? For the most, this seems to be a little more complicated.

'How do I learn to love myself?' It's a question that gets asked a lot.

The answer is: 'How do you show love to others?' Your response will most likely include one or more of the following:

  • I respect their feelings.

  • I pay attention to their needs.

  • I make time for them.

  • I make sure they feel ok.

  • I try to make their life easier.

  • I give them the time to figure out things.

  • I give them some space when they need it.

  • I accept them the way they are.

  • I appreciate their help.

  • I value their effort.

That's what loving and taking care of someone looks like, and if you want to begin loving yourself, these same efforts need to be applied to you.

It's not uncommon for it to feel somewhat challenging. Especially if you come from a long practise of ruminating and overthinking and most likely engage in self-criticism and self-blame about how you look, how you behave, what you say. If you constantly compare yourself with others, and you feel like you never reach your standard. For some reason, self-blaming seems to come naturally for the most, but it's not helpful. In fact, negative self-talk damages your self-esteem and the way you experience your life.

Show yourself the same kindness, patience and attention you would show to others. Be patient. Learning new skills takes time.

Make time for yourself and do things you like to do. Appreciate each one of the little things you do for yourself, and be patient when the results take some time to be evident.

Pay attention to your thoughts; you may be creating barriers unknowingly. You might also have an innate instinct to take care of others, and for some reason, you don't feel to deserve the same care.