Updated: Nov 30, 2020
The way we deal with the range of emotions we are experiencing daily impacts significantly the perception we have about ourselves and our environment.
When one is having a good time, the expectation is to feel great. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Good times may still be accompanied by feelings of sadness, anxiety or frustration for no apparent reason.
Having a great life, an exciting job, a lovely home, good friends, while not feeling ok, gives a feeling of uselessness to all the good things that are surrounding you.
Where are these feelings coming from?
Most of the time, these feelings develop from ignored needs or priorities, by not accepting yourself as a whole, from negative self-talk, constant ruminating, negative habits that are difficult to get rid of. In the long run, these and other unhelpful behaviours have consequences.
You may begin by feeling bitter, then become resentful, withdrawn, or excessively critical towards yourself or others, and not even realize the reason behind that.
Negative feelings have a purpose. They alert you about something that you are either ignoring or suppressing, boundaries that you or someone else are not respecting. By neglecting those signs, we expose ourselves to depression, anxiety, stress.
Moreover, having negative emotions, while nothing wrong happens, can lead to sensations of guilt, of being unfair, unappreciative, and ungrateful, adding more pressure to an already challenging situation.
"You are perfect exactly as you are. With all your flaws and problems, there's no need to change anything. All you need to change is the thought that you aren't good enough." – J. Cole.
Therefore, it is vital to explore and try to understand why those feelings arise, even if everything seems to be perfect but you don’t feel right; there is always a reason. Take the time to assess if there is something you are avoiding seeing. Evaluate your life, and be honest with yourself. Learn how to show yourself some love and how to take care of yourself.
We are exposed to extensive mental health education these days, and it is common knowledge that all feelings are acceptable and that it is ok to have unwelcome emotions. Yet our initial instinct when we experience these emotions is to engage in unproductive battles to try to make them go away.
No one likes negative emotions, and ironically negative feelings seem to stick for a longer time. Pay attention to these feelings if they seem to appear too often. They could be initial symptoms for mild depression, as depression symptoms can be sometimes confusing; if you think this could be the case, talking to a professional is extremely helpful.
How to assess if sadness is too much?
There are a few things to consider:
if demotivation and sadness last for more than two weeks
if these episodes are showing up every day for a good part of the day
·if your routine is becoming difficult to manage.
When this is what is happening, it is recommended that you contact your GP and explain the situation. Mild depression can sometimes be managed without professional assistance or drugs, particularly when there's a low risk for self-harm.
In this case, your healing can take place by combining different tools like support-groups, connecting with the people you love and other self-care tools.
"We try so hard to hide everything we're really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most. People try to bottle up their emotions as if it's somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life." ― Colleen Hoover
Once again, it's important to highlight that suppressing negative thoughts and feelings results in creating more issues and barriers for your future self. They may disappear for a short time, but we know that they will come back stronger at some point in life. So if embedding negative feelings has become your way to deal with them and you don't know how to change this, talk to someone you trust.
If you want to know more, feel free to contact me.