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Setting Healthy Boundaries: Overcoming Limiting Beliefs and Prioritising Wellbeing


time boundaries

The complexity and uniqueness of human needs in different relationships force individuals to set boundaries, adapting them to diverse situations to maintain a stable yet invisible line protecting their emotional wellbeing while nurturing their social life.

Overcoming the difficulties of boundary setting, empowers you to prioritise your wellbeing, honour your needs, and cultivate healthier relationships.

Through introspection and compassionate support you learn to foster self-respect, nurture personal growth, and create spaces where mutual understanding and compassion can flourish.


bubble

Your personal boundaries protect

the inner core of your identity and your right to choices.

Gerard Manley Hopkins


Empowering Boundaries

No matter the difficulties you may encounter, setting boundaries remains crucial. Boundaries are your personal borders, many will attempt to cross them, and it's up to you to defend them. Establishing and keeping stable boundaries is a significant responsibility and, without self-awareness, can feel overwhelming at times.

However, boundaries are crucial for maintaining a healthy sense of self.

Emotional boundaries are essential to protect yourself from your need to please and from allowing others to control your thoughts, feelings, and needs.

Key Principles of Boundaries

  • Protecting your wellbeing is your responsibility. You have to feel good to be able to be positively present for others.

  • You can only choose for yourself and cannot be accountable for other people's choices.

  • Asking others to respect your time, feelings, and needs is essential for setting boundaries.

  • Taking on other's responsibilities can make them dependent on you and hinder their personal growth.

  • Saying 'no' to others often means saying 'yes' to yourself. It sets a standard for what you are willing to do for and accept from others.

  • People who care for you will still love and respect you if you say no. If not, you need to assess if you want to be with people who don't respect you and your boundaries.

  • Always saying yes doesn't make you irreplaceable; it just makes you available for exploitation, it's draining and can result in burnout.

  • Feeling exploited, stressed, upset, and disappointed by others is not something you can allow yourself to deny or ignore. Again, it is your responsibility to make others aware of your boundaries.

  • Waiting patiently for things to get better on their own rarely works. Instead, clearly state what you allow and don't.

  • If it doesn't feel right for you, then it most likely isn't. You may initially feel like you are letting others down, but your wellbeing should be your priority.


garden

Healthy boundaries are not walls.

They are gates and fences that allow you to enjoy the beauty of your own garden.

Lydia Hall


Overcoming Limiting Beliefs: Set Your Boundaries

Taking the first steps can be daunting due to false beliefs. These false beliefs might associate with limiting thinking patterns such as:

  • Fears of not being accepted for who you are

  • Feeling selfish when standing up for yourself

  • Overvaluing others' needs and opinions

  • Undervaluing your own needs and opinions

  • Feeling inadequate

  • Fear of others' reactions or rejection

  • Fear of judgements

  • The belief that if you're not needed, you'll be alone

  • Not knowing how to handle conflicts

  • The temptation to give up

  • Lack of guidance on setting boundaries

Overcoming these limiting beliefs and working on more realistic thinking patterns can lead to growth opportunities and promote independence for yourself and those around you. As you begin, you'll realise the importance of safeguarding your boundaries, promoting nurturing and healthy relationships with yourself and your loved ones.

Guiding Principles for Setting Boundaries

  • Remember, your instincts, intuition, and feelings are your allies. If you sense resistance toward something, it's likely not aligned with your true self. 

  • Think about your needs and what you would like to say. You have the same right as others to express it, even when others don't agree.

  • Learn how to communicate your thoughts effectively. Setting boundaries isn't about engaging in constant conflict with others but rather to communicate them clearly and consistently.

  • Not every idea needs to involve compromise. If you don't want or agree with something, say 'no' and allow yourself to move on.

  • You don't have always to explain your reasons. 


self care

Boundaries are a part of self-care.

They are healthy, normal, and necessary.

Doreen Virtue


Final Thoughts

Setting boundaries is a journey; be gentle with yourself along the way and allow the time you need to improve them. Surround yourself with a supportive network open to offering guidance and encouragement. Above all, prioritise self-care and self-awareness to uphold your boundaries consistently. 

When unpleasant feelings sit too long, it's time to reach out. Remember that you don't have to face everything alone; find someone you can trust to talk to. A helpline, a support group, your GP or a counsellor can make a difference and offer support.

Subscribe to this website and get 15 minutes of free online consultations. 


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