Reparent Your Inner Child and Heal
The idea of reparenting yourself can sound weird, but who else is in a better position to explore your untold wishes and unmet needs and finally find some comfort?
At any given time, we’re carrying conscious and unconscious memories
from our youngest self to the present.
It is unlikely to meet all emotional needs while growing up; therefore, we overcame some of our challenges with immature cognitive and emotional ability. Fortunately, not all unmet needs result in childhood trauma.
What are the consequences of childhood trauma?
We often cannot recognise childhood trauma until later in life. For example, we may initially not notice patterns, distorted perceptions, or a display of too intense reactions. Childhood trauma can arise from the most diverse situations, abandonment, neglect, abuse, financial or health challenges within the family, but also dismissed feelings, bullying, unresolved grief and others. During our childhood, we overcome emotional challenges by using coping mechanisms, which are the easiest way to soothe ourselves and reduce the anxiety we feel at that stage of life. Unfortunately, our coping mechanisms often work initially well but have consequences in the long run.
Your inner child is waiting to get what is missing. All you have to do is listen.
What does reparent your inner child mean?
Reparenting your inner child means acknowledging that you host a young emotional version of yourself. This is your inner child, and it is hurt. Now it needs the love and attention missed in the past. Reparenting yourself involves learning new skills such as:
paying attention to your feelings
dedicating time to yourself and to what is important for you
learning to set up boundaries
start to set focus on yourself and practise self-care (no, it’s not selfish)
When you feel a child inside of you springing to life,
that’s how you know you’re where you should be.”
C. JoyBell C.
How do I know if I have a wounded inner child?
People with a wounded inner child react in different and often conflicting ways:
Believe that there is something wrong with them
Experience a deep distrust of anyone
Be people-pleaser and feel guilty when they try to set boundaries
Be rebels and feel alive only when in conflict with someone
Avoid conflicts at all costs