Life transitions are significant changes that challenge us to reconsider ourselves and our priorities and require considerable adjustment skills.
Life transitions can be imposed or chosen and can be very painful when we have to give up a significant part of ourselves. Still, transitions teach us how to overcome our limits and are opportunities to grow as individuals to become a better version of ourselves.
"A good half of the art of living is resilience."
Alain de Botton
Some of the changes leading to transitions are choices one makes:
Changing jobs or schools
Moving to another city or country
Getting married
Having or adopting a baby
Grown-up children leaving the family home
Retirement
Other life changes are out of our control:
Loss of a loved one
A serious illness
Facing financial hardship
Loss of job
In any given moment we have two options:
to step forward into growth or step back into safety.
Abraham Maslow
In both cases, the only choice to overcome our internal crisis is to learn to accept the new situation, begin to deal with what is and rebuild a life on what remains from the life you once knew. No matter how the transition began, we may question our ability to survive the challenge emotionally. The answer to that question is yes.
We are equipped with an innate survival instinct
This instinct helps us look out for solutions when something feels wrong. Healing begins when we stop fighting the change and observe the emotional turmoil within ourselves.
Why Is Changing Challenging?
We have an innate resistance to change. Changes lead to unknown territories, and while this can sound exciting for some, our brain prefers to keep us safe in our comfort zone, That's why even when new experiences are something you are looking forward to, leaving behind what is known can feel daunting.
Leaving the old self behind to rebuild a new self is an emotionally intense venture, and be assured that any transition experience will change you in unpredictable ways.
There is no growth in the comfort zone, and change is inevitable.
“The only constant in life is change.”
Heraclitus
When all you want is to skip the uncomfortable feelings and for everything to be over, take a step back and breathe, ensure yourself a space you can nestle in and feel safe. You can do this by practising self-care and by remaining in touch with the people you love; they will be a vital support to help you overcome this challenging time and, when you feel ready, explore new opportunities.
Transitions can be intense rollercoasters. When nothing makes sense anymore, regaining an inner balance often requires external help, which may come from friends, helplines, support groups or a professional. It may feel hard to reach out when one struggles, but facing all this alone is often not an option.
"Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life."
J.K. Rowling
These are the first steps toward the "new you."
Once you begin to feel a little better, use whatever helps you to find motivation and move from the constant pain. Be curious, try new things, make new experiences. This way, you can build new connections, opportunities, and a stronger support system.
"Do not judge me by my success,
judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again."
Nelson Mandela
Remember, when unpleasant feelings rule your day for too long, it's time to reach out. You don't have to face everything alone and find someone you trust to talk to.
When you need someone to talk to, a helpline, a support group, your GP or a counsellor can make the difference and offer support.
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